Loosing It

Lately i have just felt like i am not 100% happy. I am not happy with my spiritual life. I feel the need to get back the relationship with God, to attend church.
Mostly, i am unhappy with my relationship with my boyfriend. I can't put my finger on it. I have been trying to deny it. We have fun together...we spend every moment together...he treats me like this queen on a pedastool...he worships every inch of my body and that is something that greatly bothers me. Yes, i want my boyfriend/husband to love my body but #1 i don't love my body right now and #2 he literally goes overboard with the compliments. As i think this out in my head i realize what a total evil, spoiled rotten bitch i am. I mean...who complains about their boyfriend being too nice? I am scared if the constant praise and worship from him came to a screaching halt i would miss it. Wonder why, oh why, is he not loving on me? So basically i guess you could say i am not happy with it and not happy without it. It just doesn't make sense. And...no...i am not getting ready to start my period.
He has asked me time and time again if it bugs me that he dotes after me. Does he do it too much? I am caught off guard everytime he asks me. I do like to hear those words...i love your body...i love you...but just not every 5 minutes 24 hours a day. I do feel that if he laid off a bit that it would give me a chance to be reciprocal. But then what if it didn't and i missed the praise? It is sort of a no win situation. What if i extremely hurt his feelings and he has to watch everything he says to me and makes him look at me differently. I know it all depends on the way i bring this issue up to him. My tone of voice, the choice of words, where we are, and my body language. Knowing me, it will all come out wrong and i will have completely botched the whole deal. The best guy i have ever had...totally just screw it all up b/c of something so minor. When you look at the big picture this is a bit ridiculous. But its my happiness...i am not happy with this much attention...i have always been the giver in a relationship...always gone above and beyond to make my man the most special person on earth. My ways have changed...drastically. I am no longer that constant giving soul with my relationships. This makes me wonder...daily...is it b/c i have been single for so long...and this has made me a totally selfish individual? Or is it that i don't love him enough to do those special things i did in the past? I am just at a loss. I don't know if i should perhaps ignore this, let it pass or take action? This is bugging me beyond belief and don't know what to do. I do know that when i am away from him, out of town, i miss him.

I tend to keep my feelings bottled up. I haven't told a single person about this issue. I just let it pester until it can no longer go on as is. As hard as i try to communicate, share, and deal with problems/issues...i just can't do it. No one can make me. They can ask and ask and ask and if i don't want to talk...i just won't...i will make it all fine until the time comes when i can't stand it anymore. I have to take a stand in my life. Make changes that will benefit me later down the road.

What is a girl to do? Emotions are going to take over soon and it will no longer be dealt with in a manner i am hoping for. I will explode and react. Make a huge mistake and the most wonderful creature to me will go away. I am just scared, don't know what to do. Maybe i am totally blowing this out of proportion but i have to deal with it, one way or another!