Can't Deny It

It's what i have been wishing for. We won't say the word. That word is not in my vocab. After the mistakes i have made, the things i have learned, the way my relationships have shaped me, its all been a learning process. I believe things happen for a reason and you won't find the one if you are looking. Many lessons learned. So many long term relationships in my life. This 2 year stint has been the longest period of time i have been single in my entire life or since middle school perhaps. This week marks 2 years that the fiance and i broke up. It seems like yesterday, but then again it seems like such a long time ago. I have grown in so many ways in my personal self. Proud of myself, where i have been, where i am going.
So back to what i meant to blog about. The boy...yes "the boy." Since there is only one boy, he will be named..."the boy." I am "in like" right now. I haven't felt connected physically, mentally, and spiritually with a guy in a while. It feels good. Turns my face a shade brighter, makes my day seem a little shorter. My imagination is on a rollercoaster, my smile is shining and i am down right giddy. This new feeling is one of the best and most enjoyable in a relationship. Well this isn't a "relationship" per say. I want to just sit back, enjoy this feeling that is happening. I get so tied up in "how does he feel?" This causes me to loose the good vibe. I wish i could just be ok with whatever this turns out to be and let things happen as they do. I am a bit of a controller in a relationship. I think it should go a certain way and i make that happen. I have learned. This time its different. I will slow down, enjoy, whatever will be, will be. I need to let go. So that is what i am going to do. Let it go. Let it happen.