Dentist is never good news

Regarding my dentist apt. today. No good. Considering all the trauma and shit i have been through over the past 20 yrs. with my teeth i have come to the conclusion that no matter what, even if i floss 7 times a day, i will always have bad news from the dentist.
Recalling my dental history makes me feel like a heroe, people go "wow, you poor thing." I always like to tell a new dentist all the SHIT that i have had done and gone through b/c after they open my mouth and check it out they are amazed....b/c you would never know my mouth has been so unhealthy or i guess you could say been cursed by genetics!
So if you are really bored....read this shit....might make you thankful!
-5 root canals
-approx. 5 crowns. stopped counting. each one cost around $800
-implant in my front tooth=periodontal surgery
-gum graph=anther periodontal surgery
-6 veneers
-approx. 25 cavities that have been filled, re-filled, and re-filled
Pretty sure there is more but i can't remember, i have had so much done.

So today i go in for a teeth cleaning. Of course the x-rays are taken and i cringe. Results are this:
-1 crown needs to be replaced. only one? wow. that is good news. $1400
-5 cavities need to be replaced. $600. no new ones. just old fuckers that are roting.
-new mouth guard b/c romeo has chewed mine up to the point where it is nonfunctional
total damage=$2400

Nothing says "happy clean teeth" like a enormous dental bill!