Finally Friday

I don't have anything specific to write about so i couldn't think of a clever title.
It's Friday so that is a plus.
It's pouring rain so that brings my motivation to nothing. I had to take Romeo to the vet this morning to get his "anal glands" secreted. Yes, that is right...isn't that sick. Poor little man. So when we got home, after our walk, he jumps up in my comfy, cozy bed, on all the down pillows and buries himself. I couldn't think of anything better than curling up with him, just for 5 minutes. It was bliss. I contemplated calling work and telling them my car had broken down but i couldn't do it.
I have a "inflamed taste bud" at the end of my tongue. So that is what someone told me those little painful red bumps are that appear ever so often. It is about to drive me to the point of reaching for my scissors to chop it off.

So whats really on my mind? Well i don't exactly want to "talk" about it but i know if i do i will become clear about how i really feel about this situation and help me get my thoughts out. I am a picky bitch when it comes to guys. I always find something wrong with them. I mean its down to the shoes and watch-deal breakers. I am just too happy being single to settle. Bottom line. I won't...settle.
So when i had this amazing connection with "the boy," there was nothing in me that questioned the future, and our quick move into "relationship" status. It just happened. We spent every waking moment side by side until the point where i feel smoothered. Maybe it is the way he is when he is around me, or vice versa. When feelings don't seem equal...i tend to back away. Whether it be stronger feelings on my part, i back off, scared of being hurt or stronger feelings on his part-push me away. So there you have it. I don't feel like we have equal feelings. The problem is, i would have stronger feelings for him if he wasn't so expressive. Listen to me, can you say bitch? He is the sweetest most generous and loving human i have ever been with and i find some shit to fuck it up. I am me. I don't know why i do this.
I go from being totally enthralled and giddy with love to wanting to be out FAST. Last weekend, i wouldn't let him leave my house Sunday night to go home after he had spent all weekend with me. We didn't want to be apart. And now, i am trying to find ways of escape...excuses...don't want to hurt another guy. I just can't do it. Why is it always me that has to do it?
That is what perplexes my mind at this moment in time.