DMV horror lives on

When i turned 16 i couldn't wait for my mom to take my happy little birthday ass down to the dmv (for some reason i think they call it something different in oklahoma) to finally obtain a license to DRIVE...the P.O.S. my sister so gladly handed down. I pass the written test, off to the driving test. After that portion was over the ass hole instructor looked at me and said those horrifying words, "flunk!" Just like that...my hands were not placed on 10 and 2. Fuck that! I was humiliated walking back into high school to sadly admit that i had no license and no we wouldn't be going out that night in my pos. I had to wait 2 weeks before i could retake it. Two weeks passes and i am about to pee in my paints with excitement. Second driving test later...FLUNK...again. Yep, no lie. Humiliating isn't even the word. This time i hadn't looked both ways 3 times before pulling out or some load of shit like that. 3rd times a charm. The excitement had ended and i was just relieved to say the least. Those fucking DMV ass holes. Hated them then...hate them now. {my best friend flunked hers twice 8 months after me-so i am not the only dumb ass}

Today was another DMV experience. No, i did not flunk my CA driving test. I passed! But...what kind of hell it was. First off, every race, mother, granpa, and smelly looser was there. (I have a feeling it is always like this) I get up to the clerk after a mile long line just to sign in, have an appointment, and i need my fucking passport. Luckily, my prepared ass has it in my glove box in the car. Run in the pouring rain to retrieve it and then get to stand in another mile long line. Finally, my # is called and i am the next great CA resident to have the chance to receive a CA license. I go from one counter to the next, each task is another step, finally the test...I can't figure out what that huuuuuum hummming noise is in my midst. I figure it is some ass hole taking the eye exam. When i proceed to the next line to get my lovely test graded i realize the man next to my testing stall was "handicap" and must have had to say every ? out loud in a huuuummmmm hmmmmm noise. It sounded like jibberish actually. Can you say fucking annoying?

What i pondered as i skipped my happy ass out of that hell hole and into the rain....
*where did my mom learn how to drive? they should give her another test...a drive test. she likes to miss exits than to turn around at no u turn, speed at astronimical speeds to get somewhere she is late to, and can't for the love of god...ever get us out of the phoenix sky harbor airport. how many years has it been?
*my dad needs to be told that it is ok to drive faster than 25 on city roads...we are not in the country. and this is a fact i learned today: people who drive slower than the speed limit cause more accidents! dad...listen up!
this pertains to my big too. after growing up in the country, i guess she was taught to drive slow on gravel roads...we don't live in gravel anymore...you can speed up...!!!!!!!
*important ponder of all: it should be mandatory for elders to retake a drive exam test when they hit 60, 65, 67, 68, 69, 70 etc. and not be driving past 79 years old. My philosophy. Sorry grams!