In the clouds...
as i was walking out of the house this a.m. with purse and dogs leash in hand...i notice i had no bra on. how could i forget my bra when my boobs have grown exponentially in the last month.
i go the bathroom at work and realize none else than my underwear is inside out. my head is up my ass as of recent and i would love someone to come pull it the fuck out.

i never knew...
how relaxing christmas gift wrapping could be. here i sit. all nice and sound. christmas music turned loud. my cranberry candle lit. my wine poured. all my fun paper, ribbons, tags and tape plentiful. i am content. for the first time in days. i have been so razzled and frazzled. and its not even for my own christmas giving. i am ala carte personal assistant. wait...did that make sense...the wine is flowing.

have yourself a merry little christmas...now...(or maybe it doesn't say now but it sounds like it)